My heart is broken.

I have to write my feelings down.
I am trying to instill a security into my boys. I am trying to teach them that they will always have each other. But I feel I am fighting a loosing battle. That I will not be able to do this because I will always be undermined. I am never going to get through I dont know what else to do.
Patric is hateful and ungrateful he has been taught against my wishes that it is ok to be mean to Benjamin. I know he is only 5 and that I can change things but I just dont see how. Patric thinks Benjamin is nothing like he is, but they have so many similarities. Yes my boys are different and I am thankful that they are. They both have taught me many things and remind me to look at things differently. It just hurts that I feel like I am loosing the battle to teach them to be loving and caring. And that the differences are ok and should be held close.