Growing boys and growing hearts

I will say the boys are doing great!

They have been rather healthy, wild, and loving the spring time weather!

Benjamin is loving baseball tons which is a wonderful thing. He is really coming into his own with his baseball, and even his teammates.

And Patric is learning the importance of being a good teammate and cheering on his buddies. A lesson that I nor anyone else could not have taught. Broken arms can be a curse and a blessing, it is all in how you look at it. Good does all come out of bad!

I am thankful that I am here to remind him daily that everyday offers something new.

He is anxious to get his cast off, though and I honestly do not blame him. We all are ready for that day so we can see him out on the baseball field and not in the dugout!

At home, the few times we are home, we have begun to notice the hate/hate relationship that seems to be stewing between brothers, it has almost got to the point of completely unnecessary violence. Which really scares me to no end. I do not want that for my sons, and have constantly been on them about how they treat one another. Maybe one day my words will sink in. We can only hope.

Kevin has noticed some uneasiness in me the last couple of days. I do not know what has been going on other than there has been a lot on my mind and heart.

I feel that I am needed to take full grasp of my children,and hold them close. I feel that I am in the middle of a battle for them right now, but I do not know the full spectrum of what is going on. It makes me feel antsy and anxious, on edge even, but also withdrawn. I have to remind myself daily that they were a gift to me. I guess I am worried I am failing.

I will be the very first to admit that I have not been as happy as I have been these last 4 months. Kevin and I seem more connected than we have even before we were married. I look back and hardly believe that its been almost 10 years. And I remember the words he spoke even to this day. I believe however that they are more true today than they were 10 yrs ago. Kevin you were right no one would ever know me as well as you, you are my very best friend. I am lucky to have you.